Earth to Habs – you are not going to win this series with brute force

Posted: May 5, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Why not start with a classic Ramones couplet: “D-U-M-B/Everyone is accusing me.”

That pretty nicely sums up game three of the Senators Canadiens series which Ottawa won 25-2 or something like that. With the game long gone, the Canadiens tried to go all goony on the Sens resulting in a Slapshot-like brawl involving all 10 skaters on the ice.

Here’s how Hockey Night in Canada called it. Garry Galley says – “Now we’re gonna have a war in the centre ice zone.” And Bob Cole replies in classic Bob-Cole fashion: “Holy cow, you are telling me.” (Eds. note: Do people still use the phrase ‘holy cow’ in 2013?)

So everyone is punching it up and from what I can see, Montreal loses most of the fights. And of course they do – because they’re not a particularly tough team.

A little digression here – those Senators players making a big show of playing it up for the crowd after they won their fights? That makes me sick. I didn’t much like the fights but that was just the worst sort of caveman/macho/bully behaviour on the part of the Senators players and you know what, it may well come back to haunt those clowns. End of ranty digression.

This is not Montreal Canadiens hockey. This is not how Les Boys win hockey series.When Brendan Gallagher gets into a fight, there’s something wrong with this picture.

“It got a little stupid in the end but that’s hockey,” said Paul MacLean.

No that’s Slapshoot or Goon Mr. Walrus, that’s not hockey. And it’s most certainly not Habs hockey. From the Flying Frenchmen to the Smurfs to today’s hybrid team, the Canadiens have always been about speed, skill, great goaltending and heart. Think of that seven-game Bruins-Habs series two years back. You had the Beantown thugs on one side and the Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah speedster Habs on the other side. Sure the goons won but just by one shot.

Michel Therrien used his ultra-brief post-game presser to get all emotional about how “classless” it was for MacLean to call a time-out with 17 seconds left in the game. But the fashion victims – NOT! – on L’Anitchambre were right. The kindly ol’ coach was stalling for time so as not to talk about the real issues.

To talk about how David ‘Yes I love my new contract’ Desharnais hasn’t had a shot on goal in the series, how Michael ‘Can I go back to Newfoundland now’ Ryder is lost in a major St. John’s fog, how Max Pacioretty is just not the Patch we knew and loved last year, and most importantly how Carey Price simply hasn’t been good enough. Price had a good game Friday but one good game and two not-good games is simply unacceptable especially when the guy between the pipes on the other team is doing a pretty good imitation of Patrick Roy.

So instead of playing good hockey, they go all goon on us. What a joke. This is not going to work with this team, a squad that has way more grit than a year ago but still can’t compete in the heavyweight category with most teams in the League.

If Montreal plans on winning this series – and they still can – they’re going to win it by playing better hockey than the Senators. The Habs are the better team. But they most certainly didn’t look like the better team tonight. And they also didn’t look like the tougher team.

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