Trade Gauthier, not Kostitsyn

Posted: February 27, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Look I don’t much like Andrei ‘Where’s the Party?’ Kostitsyn either. He’s a whiner. Most nights, he looks like he’d rather be hanging with his buddies at the bar doing God knows what and his play reflects that sadsack attitude.

But the guy has loads of talent and a smart team would know how to get him to perform. And me I’m thinking that smart team is the Nashville Predators, who picked up AK46 Monday morning in return for a second-round pick next year and the conditional fifth-round 2013 pick that they nabbed in the Hal Gill trade with the same team.

Kostitsyn will score 30 goals next year for the Preds. You read it here first. Remember what my Habs-obsessed accountant Randall Huberman said on the weekend? Players always play worse when they arrive in Montreal and always improve when the Habs trade them to another team.

(Goon filmmaker Michael Dowse – who’s the man behind the No. 1 movie in the land this weekend – took time off his champagne drinking today to tweet to underline that AK is an unrestricted free agent this summer. So he may be scoring those 30 goals somewhere else. But it won’t be for the Habs.)

Look at Andrei’s little brother Sergei who was dealt by the Canadiens to the Predators a couple of years back. He scored 23 goals and had 50 points last season, and already has 15 goals this year. Those are big numbers by the Habs (kind of sad) standards. And no he never produced for us.

Sure AK is sucking it out big-time this year, with 12 goals and 12 assists, but remember this is a team where no one is producing except for the Patch/Desharnais/Cole line. Kostitsyn has talent. We’ve seen it. Remember 07-08 when he was on the team’s best line, alongside Tomas Plekanec and Alex Kovalev? He can play. You just have to figure out how to get him inspired.

Also, is Preds GM David Poile the only general manager that Pierre ‘Major Major’ Gauthier knows? Does he have phone numbers for any other GMs? The Ghost is infamous for not offering players right ’round the league. Did he check with everyone re AK46? Because by all accounts, he did not phone all of his colleagues when he was quickly dealing Halak to St. Louis.

Here’s an idea. Why not trade the Goat? Maybe a straight-up deal with the Leafs – Gauthier for Burke! I like it. In one transaction, the Loafs get the worst GM in the league and we finally get a guy in Montreal who isn’t afraid to talk to the media.

For heaven’s sake, our GM would even be on Twitter. What? You don’t think Toronto would go for it? Okay, throw in Bob ‘Elvis Has Not Left the Building’ Gainey. And then we’ll pick up free agent George Costanza as Burke’s assistant. C’mon it’s a great plan.

Hey you gotta laugh man! What’s the alternative? The alternative is treating this as the tragedy it is. And I can’t face that right at this second. I got enough problems pal.

 

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