Today might be a good day to fire Pierre Gauthier

Posted: February 24, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

It’s just a thought. Here we are, it’s the start of the weekend, time to uncork a bottle of Red Stripe, order in some food, and watch the game. We’re all in a good mood, right?

Exactly. There’s only one problem. The game is Montreal-Washington and, let’s be honest here, this ain’t a meeting at the summit. This is whatever you’d call the opposite of a meeting at the summit. Today us Habs fans woke up to something few of us have ever experienced – the Habs are right at this exact second – at 6:40 p.m. Friday – dead last in the East.

That’s right, they’re officially cellar-dwellers. 15th place. 28th in the 30-team league. The Caps are doing only marginally better. They’re in 10th place in the East, only three points out of 8th. But they’re on a big-time skid, having lost the last three and five of the past six.

When did the Habs last finish at the bottom of the standings? Someone, I think it was Richard Labbe from La Presse, tweeted earlier this week to suggest this has not happened since the ’30s. To state the obvious – this is not good. Hell it’s a freakin’ disaster.

So why not toss Ghost Gauthier overboard tonight? I think the idea has some merit. First off, you fire Pierre ‘Major Major’ Gauthier and he won’t be able to do any more damage to the team between now and the trade deadline.

You don’t think he can do damage? You don’t remember the Tomas ‘Soft as Cadbury’ Kaberle trade? We are stuck with a guy for three years for way too much money and he’s the kind of player who just drags a team down to his heart-less level. Did you see Eric Staal stroll by him the other day to score on Carey ‘What Me Worry’ Price? Every GM in the league – and most every hockey fan – knew Kab was a disaster. Every GM that is except Gauthier and his sidekick – or is it his boss? – Bob ‘What About Bob’ Gainey.

So get rid of him and you’ll save the Habs from trading away Andrei ‘Where’s the Party?’ Kostitsyn for a sack of pucks, only to see AK46 come to Ryder-like life with another smarter team.

The other good thing about setting the Ghost free tonight is it’ll give the folks at TSN, who’re already on hyper-caffeinated pre-trade-deadline overdrive, something to talk about over the weekend.

But the real reason you should give Gauthier his pink slip – and what the heck give one to Bob ‘Elvis Has Not Left the Building’ Gainey while you’re at it – is that the Canadiens are in LAST PLACE in the Eastern Conference today. That’s not just unacceptable. It’s tragic.

The quest for mediocrity has to end now! Actually how about we trade Gauthier for Leafs GM Brian Burke? I became a huge Burke fan when I saw his comments a couple of weeks back about how he could’ve got the Leafs into the playoffs over the past couple of years by trading young players but that he wants to build a championship team.

“I’m not interested in making the playoffs and getting our asses kicked in the first round,” said Burke.

But that’s precisely been the Gainey/Gauthier philosophy in a nutshell. Let’s just squeak into the post-season and we’ll get the fans and media off our backs for another season. Earth to Habs Central – this is what’s called a loser’s philosophy. Cammie was right on that count. This team has been trying not to lose for years now rather than trying to win.

Remember that year when Saku ‘I Know I Was Never a First-Line Centre’ Koivu said, at the start of the season, that the Habs wouldn’t be winning the Cup. He was just reflecting the vibe at head office. Keeps the expensive suds flowing, keep the even more expensive tickets selling, and everything will be okay.

So fire Gauthier now. Please. And let’s bring in new management that will think outside the box. Outside the loser’s box that is.

Here is a classic Seinfeld clip that oh so perfectly captures the spirit of the past couple of decades of Habsdom (courtesy of my Twitter pal Paul Wong).

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